Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Andy Rooney who has been a staple on 60 Minutes, announces…

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BREAKING NEWS – Beverly Hills, California – Based on her present appearance because of her countless plastic surgeries, Cher Bono has issued…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A growing amount of people in the democratic party are calling President Obama a…

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BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – Universal Studios accuses Morgan Freeman of being extremely misguided or completely delusional. They said…

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BREAKING NEWS – Virginia Beach, Virginia – Christian Broadcasting Network chairman televangelist Pat Robertson, shocked 700 Club viewers by stating that…

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – While being interviewed on CNN by Piers Morgan, Academy Award winning…

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BREAKING NEWS – More than half of the states in America are now challenging ObamaCare in federal court. The state…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama angers Congresswoman Maxine Waters after telling the audience at the Congressional Black…

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BREAKING NEWS – Austin, Texas – Dieticians within the ACLU file a lawsuit against Texas and their state prisons, regarding the…

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BREAKING NEWS – Atlanta, Georgia – According to the Chairman of the Golden Olympics, 2011 was their most successful games yet….

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – At a press conference, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder defends the Justice Department for…

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BREAKING NEWS – Copenhagen, Denmark – Arnaud Demare goes ballistic after he was disqualified from the UCI Road Cycling World…

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BREAKING NEWS – Orlando, Florida – Former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza Herman Cain, wins the Florida GOP Presidential Straw Poll….

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – After a six month study, Time Magazine states that they believe…

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BREAKING NEWS – Hway Pu Keng, Thailand – Many Thailand women from the Kayan Tribe state they will continue their…

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BREAKING NEWS – Manchester, New Hampshire – GOP candidate Mitt Romney decides not to file charges against Rick Perry for…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Nancy Sutley, chair of White House Council on Environmental Quality, explains that she felt…

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Editorial writers from the Chicago Tribune that endorsed President Obama in the 2008 campaign,…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan held his hands up and stood motionless in…

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BREAKING NEWS – Lhasa, Tibet – Onlookers were in genuine shock after the Dalai Lama grabbed the newly elected Prime…

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