Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Nike selected the controversial former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick as the new face of the…

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BREAKING NEWS – Detroit, Michigan – Louis Farrakhan said he was extremely disappointed that he couldn’t speak at Aretha Franklin’s…

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BREAKING NEWS – Detroit, Michigan – At Aretha Franklin’s funeral, Al Sharpton decided to address his recent misspelling of the…

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BREAKING NEWS – Venice, Italy – Italian director Luciano Silighini Garagnani turned heads with his red-carpet wardrobe — a t-shirt…

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BREAKING NEWS – Montpelier, Vermont – Senator Bernie Sanders hints again that he may run for president, by announcing a…

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BREAKING NEWS – London, England – A large balloon of London Mayor Sadiq Khan wearing a yellow bikini has been…

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BREAKING NEWS – Bristol, Connecticut – ESPN’s Max Kellerman said on “First Take” that Tiger Woods’ response to questions about…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A Chinese state-owned company reportedly hacked former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s email server,…

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BREAKING NEWS – Seattle, Washington – E-commerce giant Amazon took to its blog to hit back at “inaccurate and misleading”…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – DNC Chairman Tom Perez has announced that he plans to try to garnish the…

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BREAKING NEWS – Tallahassee, Florida – Liberal Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum, fresh off his upset victory in Florida’s gubernatorial primary,…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Maxine Waters is now blaming President Trump for insufficient polling data used to determine…

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BREAKING NEWS – Williamsport, Pennsylvania – After Hawaii beat South Korea in the World Series, Williamsport has announced that they…

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BREAKING NEWS – Sacramento, California – Suspects awaiting trial in California will now have their bail eliminated, according to a…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Trump threatened Google in a tweet, saying the Internet giant’s search engine is…

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Disgraced “Today” anchor Matt Lauer is telling supporters that he’ll be…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Lanny Davis, the high-powered attorney of President Trump’s longtime “fixer”-turned-foe Michael Cohen, admitted he…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Democratic Sen. Tim Kaine’s apparent reluctance to publicly confirm he’ll cast a “no” vote…

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Uber announces that they will now be competing with ambulance companies,…

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BREAKING NEWS – Dublin, Ireland – Pope Francis I told reporters that he “won’t say a word” about claims by…

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