Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Maywood, Illinois – A large crowd of angry snowmen marched to the mayor’s office demanding that he…

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BREAKING NEWS

Christmas Gift Ideas (13 of 15) If you have a family member who habitually goes off their diet by sneaking…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – ABC has announced that it has signed Julian Paul Assange editor-in-chief of WikiLeaks…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Arlington, Virginia – The Pentagon – A submarine commander who finally admitted that he has a problem with alcohol, has…

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BREAKING NEWS

Christmas Gift Ideas (12 of 15) For kids 8 and up you can get the Amtrak Train Set for $79.95…

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BREAKING NEWS – Northern Alaska – The National Wildlife Federation states that for some unknown reason, many of the large…

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BREAKING NEWS – Henderson, Nevada – In “Zappos 2009 Culture Book”, the origin of a very popular cliché that people…

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BREAKING NEWS

Christmas Gift Ideas (11 of 15) If you’re in the habit of continuing to sleep even after your alarm goes…

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BREAKING NEWS – North Pole, Alaska – Due to the slow economy which prompted Santa Claus to lay off seven of…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi rejoices after the Senate voted to end the…

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Christmas Gift Ideas (10 of 15) From Milton Bradley comes the all new Candyland. This revised edition for $9.95 has replaced…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Atlanta, Georgia – The legal counsel for Bishop Eddie Long is now negotiating an out-of-court settlement with…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Book critics from the New York Times say that they have…

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Christmas Gift Ideas (9 of 15)  For $49.95 you can get a bathroom scale that is designed to help motivate…

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Shockwaves are still being felt worldwide after the recent discovery by…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Because of the rising medical costs and the deteriorating Social Security system, Congress has…

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Christmas Gift Ideas (8 of 15) For $99.95 you can purchase the New York City Style Race Car Set. With…

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  BREAKING NEWS – Mountain Lakes, New Jersey – Mrs. Butterworth states during an interview, that she has fallen on…

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  BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The people in the audience that were initially excited about going to Australia…

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BREAKING NEWS

Christmas Gift Ideas (7 of 15) For the pastor that notices people sleeping and not paying attention to him when…

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