Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Tijuana, Mexico – A man with a sniper rifle shows 1st and 2nd graders the basic fundamentals…

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BREAKING NEWS

  BREAKING NEWS – Atlanta, Georgia – A spokesman for Bishop Eddie Long, stated that when all the facts finally come…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Seattle, Washington – Bill Gates begins to show his frustration as he desperately tries to convince a large…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Charlotte, North Carolina – Even after thousands of complaints and several lawsuits, Bank of America maintains that…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Houston, Texas – After an eight month long investigation by NASA, the FBI finally arrest the man…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – The Board of Education Superintendent Ramon Cortines stated that people committing violent acts…

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BREAKING NEWS

  BREAKING NEWS – Kandahar, Afghanistan – Three Taliban are forced to stay after school at Terrorism College for receiving a…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – London, England – Paul McCartney states that he has finally forgiven Muhammad Ali for knocking him out,…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – After a three hour audition, “Dancing With The Stars” declined to sign Al Sharpton to appear…

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BREAKING NEWS

  BREAKING NEWS – Arlington, Virginia – After an eight month study, Air Force Chief of Staff General Norton Schwartz…

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BREAKING NEWS

  BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – After years of negotiations, the Tobacco Industry and the FAA finally reach an…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The CEO of U-Haul sends former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel a…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – PETA files a lawsuit on behalf of several poultry farmers against…

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U.S. & World History

U.S. & World History – The “St. Valentine’s Day Massacre” should be more appropriately called the “St. Valentine’s Day Mascara”, as…

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