Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

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BREAKING NEWS – Giza, Egypt – An Egyptian real estate developer is photographed looking at the magnificent pyramids, trying to determine if…

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – For the first time in 12 years, schools all over the city were shutdown…

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BREAKING NEWS – Kent, England – Ambam, a silverback gorilla, at the Port Lympne Wild Animal Park in Kent, southeast…

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BREAKING NEWS – Wyomissing, Pennsylvania – A judge throws out a lawsuit filed by Cathy Cruz Marrero after she fell…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Speaker of the House John Boehner gets emotional while answering with hand gestures, after…

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BREAKING NEWS – Springfield, Illinois – Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich that was convicted of lying to the FBI, stated…

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BREAKING NEWS – Miami, Florida – LeBron James, who has a reputation of literally crying after tough losses, is seen…

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Because he couldn’t garnish any large support for his ideology from humans, Jesse Jackson…

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BREAKING NEWS – Jerusalem, Israel – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton mediates a final agreement between Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin…

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – The FBI makes arrest more than 100 arrests in the northeast…

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BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – A spokesman for Charlie Sheen states that his recent stay in the hospital was…

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – In a bold move, the New York Stock Exchange is now…

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BREAKING NEWS – Pawtucket, Rhode Island – Executives and accountants at Parker Brothers now admit that the Monopoly Game has…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – During a more peaceful time in the recent past, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak continues…

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – The Illinois Supreme Court unanimously put Rahm Emanuel back in the race for Chicago…

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The Worst Cars Ever Made (Part 5 of 5) British Jaguar Produced from 1949 – present According to the Highway Loss…

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BREAKING NEWS – Berlin, Germany – German Chancellor Angela Merkel, is seen getting extremely frustrated with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan…

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The Worst Cars Ever Made (Part 4 of 5)  Ford Pinto Produced from 1971 – 1980 This car had more bugs…

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BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – The Burger King and Dairy Queen are now publicly stating that they are…

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BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – According to a Hollywood insider as well as Las Vegas odds makers, the two…

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