Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – The NBA’s ongoing China controversy seeped into its highly anticipated Lakers-Clippers opener in…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Beaverton, Oregon – Nike pulls a Betsy Ross-themed Fourth of July sneaker after Colin Kaepernick raises concern….

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BREAKING NEWS – Nike selected the controversial former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick as the new face of the…

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BREAKING NEWS – Orange County, California – Officials in California’s Orange County voted to join a lawsuit from the Trump…

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BREAKING NEWS – Beaverton, Oregon – Nike has finally announced when it will begin selling its self-lacing sneakers inspired by…

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BREAKING NEWS – Oakland, California – Mayor Libby Schaaf has now banned all business travel to the Windy City, after…

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BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Nike Inc. has unveiled its first power-lacing sneaker — it allows…

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Life through Blake’s eyes…

When I was married, my wife would often drop hints to what she planned on doing, rather than telling me…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – After a receiving a tidal wave of complaints from people that saw a private…

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BREAKING NEWS – Portland, Oregon – A pimp is suing Nike for $100 million — and says that its Air…

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BREAKING NEWS – Indianapolis, Indiana – Lafayette Square Mall as well as shopping centers nationwide, have reported a least a…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Beaverton, Oregon – Local police and the FBI raided Nike after a six month sting investigation regarding…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama is pictured in Nike gym shoes speaking with Deputy National Security Advisers…

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BREAKING NEWS – Jerusalem, Israel – More than 2,000 years ago, someone, perhaps a group of people, hid away some…

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BREAKING NEWS – Beaverton, Oregon – Local and state police are now investigating the horrific deaths of three employees at…

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BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – After their last meeting, the Los Angeles Lakers decides not to hire former…

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BREAKING NEWS – Beaverton, Oregon – Hundreds of people from PETA picket Nike, stating that they’re attempt to expand their…

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BREAKING NEWS – Beijing, China – Hundreds of grammar school children are seen saying their national pledge, right before starting…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Beaverton, Oregon – A plastic surgeon hired by Nike, stated that Tiger Woods agreed to have the “swish”…

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