Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Athens, Georgia – A Georgia grandmother claims she strangled a rabid bobcat to death after it jumped…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS- Washington, D.C. – President Trump is said to be outraged at Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for what…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Seville, Spain – A Spanish matador hoping for a triumphant return from a brutal goring, was again…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Hundreds of animals at the National Zoo in the nation’s capitol, signed a petition…

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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake, I need advice on how to deal with a friend/neighbor’s messy, unkempt backyard. We are getting ready to…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Democrats are emphatically backing a mayor in northern Alaska, after he announced that Whoville…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Alexandria, Virginia – An historic Episcopal parish Christ Church, where George Washington frequently worshiped has decided to…

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Life through Blake’s eyes…

A long time ago, while I was on vacation in Cornwall, England, I met a man who was obviously a…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – PETA is now reaching out to all nations in Africa that has zebras. The…

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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake, My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and for those two years, I’ve had to…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Norfolk, Virginia – PETA has announced that more and more animal shelters are now teaching their dogs…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – San Francisco, California – San Francisco is earning a growing reputation for more than just its unmatched…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Mahwah, New Jersey – The administration at Ramapo College deemed a barbecue’s “American” theme and advertising too…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New Smyrna Beach, Florida – In the span of just two hours last Sunday, three surfers were…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – PETA has now written a letter to the Department of Justice, demanding some nationwide…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – San Diego, California – Fresh off a victory over SeaWorld and its controversial orca program, animal rights…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Pueblo, Colorado – The owners of a Colorado pizza joint say there’s a thief in their midst…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Sydney, Australia – PETA has now filed a complaint against the largest wool producing country in the…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Minusinsk, Krasnoyarsk Krai, Russia – In the grave of an infant that lived around 4500 years ago…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania – An unknown man representing PETA is seen laying down next to two plastic turkeys,…

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