Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Largo, Florida – A Florida teenager’s goal to do well on the SAT ended up paying off…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Lawrence, Kansas – The University of Kansas, a bastion of taxpayer-funded liberalism in an otherwise predominantly Republican…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Decatur, Georgia – A Georgia teacher told police he stole a 9-year-old student’s violin because he needed…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – College Park, Maryland – Hillary Clinton surprised an 8-year-old girl with a letter, after the elementary school…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Manchester, England – Eight and 9-year-old students at Flowery Field Primary School in England arrived in class…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Omaha, Nebraska – Nebraska elementary school principal has been placed on leave after a conservative Christian group…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Buffalo, New York – A New York man praised a sixth grader who he said helped him…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New Haven, Connecticut – A lawsuit filed in a New Jersey federal court on Nov. 5 details…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The ACLU has persuaded an increasing amount of teachers not to give grammar school…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Potter, Nebraska – A Nebraska superintendent is apologizing for “anxiety and any harm” caused after a school…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Kent, Ohio – Kent State University has cancelled its fall musical production of “West Side Story” following…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Crystal River, Florida – Florida middle school teacher Dayanna Volitich submitted her resignation after it was found…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Terra Bella, California – More than a dozen students were evaluated after a classmate brought two cocaine-filled…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Dover, Delaware – Delaware State University has announced that it is banning snowball fights, water guns, and…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Brookline, Massachusetts – Northeastern is distancing itself from feminist professor Suzanna Walters, who said women have the…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Rochester, New York – Using mathematical models, astrophysicists simulated how various alien civilizations might rise and fall…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – California’s public labor unions are campaigning for measures that would help them retain…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Corvallis, Oregon – A college freshman faces charges for kidnapping a female hotel worker in Oregon at…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – East Hanover, New Jersey – A New Jersey mom went to her daughter’s school and complained about…

Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Salt Lake City, Utah – Students at the University of Utah will have the opportunity to relieve…

Continue Reading

1 2 3 7