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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

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UNITED STATES AIR FORCE “If you kill enough of them, they stop fighting.”  ~  Curtis LeMay

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UNITED STATES MARINES “Of the Marines on Iwo Jima, uncommon valor was a common virtue.”  ~  Chester W. Nimitz

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UNITED STATES NAVY “When this war is over, the Japanese language will be spoken only in hell!”  ~  Admiral Bill…

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UNITED STATES ARMY “War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The ACLU announces that the plan to soon lobby Congress, in attempt to end…

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UNITED STATES AIR FORCE How would I describe the Air Force’s A-10 that shoots foot long bullets at 70 per…

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UNITED STATES MARINES I don’t know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they terrify…

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UNITED STATES NAVY If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn’t plan your mission properly.  ~    …

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UNITED STATES ARMY Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.  ~  General Douglas…

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UNITED STATES AIR FORCE Air power has become predominant, both as a deterrent to war, and — in the eventuality of…

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UNITED STATES MARINES The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale,…

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UNITED STATES NAVY There are no great people in this world, only great challenges which ordinary people rise to meet.  ~…

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UNITED STATES ARMY History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak and timid.  ~    …

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UNITED STATES AIR FORCE When F-22 Raptors get hungry, they feast on enemy fighters (aerial assassins).  

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UNITED STATES MARINES The deadliest weapon in the world is a U.S. Marine and his rifle.  ~  General John “Black…

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UNITED STATES NAVY In the Navy SEAL culture, winning and accomplishing the mission at hand is to be done at…

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