BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Insulted by people challenging his “soda ban” for containers holding more than 16 ounces, Mayor Michael Bloomberg has three children arrested and jailed over night. An attorney for the children, states that that Bloomberg’s action was “excessive”, and the mayor definitely crossed a line when he told the youngsters that if they did it again, he’d have them water boarded with several different flavors from a Big Gulp.

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