Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

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BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Irish people all over the Windy City were outraged when they found out that dye has never been dumped in the water to turn it green every St. Patrick’s Day. According to a memo by Police Chief Garry McCarthy who oversees the most violent city in the United States, he was fully aware that the green substance is not dye, but blood. And it comes from law enforcement looking the other way every St. Patrick’s Day, when vicious inner city gang members brutally beat up Martians near the shore of the Chicago River.

Garry McCarthySt. Patrick's Day

• March 18, 2014


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