BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Under the possibility that the bible might be true, the ACLU is now assembling their best attorneys to assist people who have rejected Jesus as their savior, that will be standing before God on Judgement Day. The civil rights organization stated that they plan to either filing injunctions that will postpone God from tossing their clients into hell, try to negotiate a plea bargain, or to have God recuse Himself from passing judgement due to the blatant biases He has regarding His son.

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