Dear Blake,

I was snooping in my son’s basement and discovered he is growing weed. Should I confront him? He could lose his job, house, reputation and shared custody of his daughter. I am a nervous wreck thinking about how to approach him. My husband would have a stroke if he found out. I know I should do something, but what?

Signed, Contessa

From Arlington Heights, Illinois

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Dear Contessa,

I am sorry to hear about the emotional state you are being subjected to. Unfortunately, everyone who wants to have children are risking creating a criminal loser like the one you have. What reputation are you concerned about him losing? The grammar school students that he sells the marijuana to will probably always respect him. Don’t worry about his daughter. Because if his appetite after smoking a few joints is so voracious, that it causes him to regularly steal the snacks out of her lunch box, I assure you, she’ll be glad to be rid of him. You said your husband would have a stroke if he found out. Maybe that’s what your son wants, which means you would be next on his hit list. Maybe he’ll spare your life, if he knows for sure that he has been excluded from your will. However, that can’t stop him from taking out a life insurance on you and buying a gun. But the simplest way to deal with this, is for you to make an anonymous phone call to the local police to find out if there is a reward for turning in a narcotics distributor. If there is, but your son doesn’t have enough marijuana in your basement to be considered a drug dealer, then I would suggest that you secretly add a few more plants… and then turn him in. I hope this helps.


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