Dear Blake,

I’m seven years old and sometimes I watch the news with my dad. There are some bad things going on everywhere in the world. Will it ever stop?

Signed, Danny

From San Diego, California

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Dear Danny,

Personally, I do not recommend young children watching the news because a lot of the subject matter is disturbing. And to answer your question, no it’s not going to get any better, so I guess you should prepare yourself for some of the upcoming nightmares. Crime is rampant everywhere, so it’s just a matter of time before all streets in America will be controlled by thugs, and to combat this, the government will give cops “shoot to kill orders” for anyone outside after 6 p.m. There are so many incurable diseases worldwide, that it’s likely a new version of the black plague will hit the globe, which will cause the most expensive real estate to be cemetery plots. A probable nuclear war will have you living underground indefinitely. So enjoy the sun, clouds, and sky now, and try to remember what they look like so you can describe them to your grandchildren. However, I could be wrong on all counts, and the only thing we really have to worry about today is a famine. But that may not be a problem for your parents, because after they become zombies, they’ll devour you and your siblings. Hopefully you’re not the smallest child, because your mom and dad will consume the littlest one first, as an appetizer. I hope this helps.

Blake

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