Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Houston, Texas – The Church of Satan has disavowed any association with Kathy Griffin in response to a tweet from blogger Mike Cernovich about Griffin’s anti-Trump photo shoot posing with a severed head. “Please do not include us in this,” The Church of Satan tweeted. “We have prayed to Lucifer and he has instructed us to inform Ms. Griffin that she will not be welcome in his realm when she expires. He stated that many of the current residents in hell are threatening to protest in mass if she is sent there. And she would be better off becoming a Catholic where she can sit in purgatory for the next billion years, which gives heaven and hell plenty of time to jointly determine a location that’s wicked enough to send her.”

Donald TrumpKathy Griffin

• June 6, 2017


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