Dear Blake,

I have a problem. My best friend is moving away to a different state this summer. She is my only friend, and I’m currently dating her brother. He’s the only boy I like, and she is my only friend. I don’t know what to do. I’ll be in ninth grade in a couple of months, which means I’ll have to start high school without a boyfriend. What should I do?

Signed, Mayra

From San Antonio, Texas

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Dear Mayra,

Having someone move away that’s close to you can be very traumatic. However, if you two were dating in the conventional sense, you’re lucky that both sets of parents haven’t been arrested. Assuming you two are the same age, once his hormones kick in, by the time summer is over, he’ll probably forget what you look like. On the positive side, a person’s true characteristics come out in high school, so you may have had the misfortune to have been involved with a serial killer, a drug dealer, or maybe a grave robber. It’s also possible that he’s not even moving, and he just told you that because he feels you’re too emotionally unstable to handle rejection. But it’s entirely possible that he will have such a longing for you, that you two will see each other again, get married, and live happily ever after. Just hope he doesn’t move to the west coast and ends up going to a liberal public school, because those lunatic teachers might try to convince him that he’s not a male. If that were to happen, don’t be surprised that the next time you see him when you’re both adults, he might be walking out of the changing room at Victoria’s Secret. I hope this helps.

Blake

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