BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has sent signals recently that she intends to keep her seat on the bench for years to come. She said she intends to serve, as long as she can go “full steam,” drawing inspiration from her model, Justice John Paul Stevens, who stepped down in 2010 at age 90. When exiting her office Ginsburg was asked about the ongoing rumors that she has Alzheimer’s, and regularly gets lost in the building that she works. She said that is “entirely not true”, as she was getting on her electric scooter. “I plan on being a judge on the U.S. Small Claims Court forever!” she angrily shouted as she shook her fist. Ginsburg then asked for directions to the nearest bathroom, and immediately sped down the hall.

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