I’m 35 and I’m dating this amazing guy a couple of years older than me. He really checks off so many things on my “list,” I can’t help but be attracted to and appreciate him. He is a good guy, good looking, real smart and our values match up. We also have a really good vibe together. Here’s the issue: He is not as tall as I would prefer. He’s not super short, but we are the same height (5’4”) and when I wear shoes with a small heel, he’s slightly shorter. I don’t know why I’m still thinking about the height thing when I could really see us together long term. Am I being superficial? What should I do?
From Corpus Christi, Texas
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I understand your issue, and in fact, many women are not attracted to men their own height. And I think you should be reluctant about addressing this with him, because more than likely, he got picked on a lot as a kid and he probably still cries easily. What I think you should do, is to focus on the positive elements of his stature. Tell him you think he would be quite an athlete as a power forward, if any of the seven dwarfs ever started their own basketball league. If you get married, just think of how much money you could save when he’s shopping for shirts and pants. He would walk right pass the men’s clothes and head for the kiddie section. After you two get married, you should have plenty of room to sleep in the bed, because you won’t be laying next to a full size adult male. But maybe you shouldn’t focus on his height at all. If you really love him, that shouldn’t matter. Just picture yourself sitting across from him during a romantic candlelit dinner. He’s looking into your eyes which radiates his devotion to you, while you’re looking at him trying to not laugh at the runt sitting in a high chair. I hope this helps.