Dear Blake,

For the past couple of years, my husband and I have not been happy with the service provided by our dentist. We have been patients of his for years and recently decided to switch to someone else. What would be the best way to approach this? We are unsure how to diplomatically tell him that we won’t be going back to him. We both have upcoming appointments at his office.

Signed, Casandra

From Boston, Massachusetts

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Dear Casandra,

Dentists are people with feelings just like the rest of us. So to avoid any vindictive acts by him, tell him after he has performed services, to eliminate the possibility of him “accidentally” shooting some Novocaine deep into you foreheads. In your case, the best thing to do, is to get him to drop you, and here are some tips on how to do that. You and your spouse should go there wearing some brass knuckles, and tell him you both plan to “immediately” retaliate if either of you feel you are being subjected to any unnecessary pain. Or, in the waiting area, you and your husband should start “rapping” some of the vile vulgar lyrics from any number of popular songs that are so offensive, that it makes his receptionist very uncomfortable, along with any parents that came there with their small children. This one might work. Find a subject that he doesn’t like, and talk about it nonstop while your gums are numb and your speech is slurred. But the quickest way to get him to tell you that he doesn’t want you or your husband as a patient anymore, is this suggestion. Tell him your nephew has now become a malpractice attorney, and is eager to file his first lawsuit. Then ask him what’s his income, if he rents or owns his home, and what’s the resale value of all of his medical equipment? After that, I wouldn’t be surprised if he referred you to a rival dentist that he wants to see get put out of business. I hope this helps.


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