BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – DNC Chairman Tom Perez has announced that he plans to try to garnish the support of pro-life voters in the 2020 presidential election. “The majority of pro-lifers are Christians,” he began. “Currently I am assembling the best liberal theologians in this country, for them to put their heads together, and to comprise a compelling argument in regards to babies in the womb, on how Jesus and God got it wrong.”

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