Dear Blake,

My question is, is it ethical to “try” the fruit at the grocery store? I am amazed at the number of shoppers who open the bags of grapes and help themselves to a snack. Shouldn’t they buy without sampling?

Signed, Adam
From Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

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Dear Adam,

If a grocery store lets people get away with, I think you ought to push the envelope. This can easily cut you food bill in half, if not more. Here are some things you should try. Bring an entire barbecue grill to the meat section, and light it up. You should be ok until the smoke alarms go off, and/or the fire department shows up. The next time you have a reason to celebrate and you don’t want to spend any money on booze, have a party in the liquor aisle. If you can get some of the store clerks loaded, it’s not likely they’ll throw you out, or ask for an I.D. from intoxicated minors. If you’re not sure what cake to buy, use one of your hands to grab a piece to taste. But to be fair to other customers who may want that slightly damaged cake, make sure your fingernails are clean because you don’t want to create any unsanitary conditions. And remember this, my suggestions are to be used exclusively at grocery stores that’s part of a large franchise, because they can easily absorb any losses. If you try this at a “ma and pa” grocery store, one of them might try to remove the food from your stomach, with a blast to your gut from a shotgun. I hope this helps.

Blake

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