Blake’s Advice Column
I have been in a relationship with someone for 11 months. He has full custody of an 3 year-old son from a previous relationship. The mother hasn’t been in the child’s life for two years. His son knows I am his father’s girlfriend and has seen us be affectionate with each other. He has also heard us say “I love you.” Lately, the boy has been saying “I love you” to me, and I am torn about how to respond. We have a good relationship, and I do care for him and his well-being, but I don’t know how to respond when he says this. Do I say “I love you” back because I care for him, or should I not respond?
From South Bend, Indiana
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I believe it will be ok to say “I love you” to your boyfriend’s son. But I would also urge you to use caution until you determine if his motive for saying he loves you are genuine or sinister. Here are some things I think you should consider. Is the young child saying that because he is trying to butter you up, so you’ll later be receptive to requests that he plans on making that he knows are unethical and illegal? Maybe he’s saying it hoping you will say the same thing to him, and follow that up with a hug, so that roguish little twit can get close enough to easily pick your pockets. Children his age often mispronounce words, so are you sure he isn’t saying “I loathe you” because he misses his biological mother and he’s disgusted with your presence? However, my biggest concern is, where is this baby from? You obviously weren’t around when the child was born, so you can’t say for sure who the real parents are. I believe my concerns are justified, and I think it would be in your best interest for you to do an extensive background search on the young lad, after you rent the movies “The Omen”, and “Rosemary’s Baby”. I hope this helps.