My fiancé, has a large network of friends who have known each other for a long time. We get together as a group a couple of times a month for birthdays, sports events, etc. Whenever we do, the men veer away into their own world of conversation, while we women are left to talk to each other. Honestly, I dread it. These women are generally petty, hypersensitive and hard to talk to about anything of substance. We share no common interests in our jobs, musical tastes, television viewing, etc. I don’t want to skip the outings altogether because I have become good friends with the guys, and some of them will be in our wedding. But if I leave the women’s table and join the men, it will appear that I am snubbing them. I prefer the men’s conversation to what the women discuss. Must I learn to deal with what these women talk about? Is there a solution?
From Minot, North Dakota
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The situation you’re in is not unique, because many women prefer to converse with men rather than women. If you don’t want to give the women you’re snubbing, I would recommend that you bring up topics that will make them so uncomfortable, that they will be glad to see you go hang out with the men. For starters, music. Every time you gather with those women, start espousing some of the lyrics from that latest “gangsta rap” songs, especially the ones that degrade women… which is most of them. Or, tell them your favorite thing to see on tv, is surgery on humans. And then begin describing something that you said was so gross, that even the doctors performing the procedure got nauseous and threw up. As far as jobs, tell them you used to work part time for a mortician, and some of the nutty things you did when you were bored and no one was around. But, you could try to fit in to be one of the girls, by saying something that may want them to keep you around. So try this. Inform them that your fiancé has informed you, that at least half of the men he interacts with in their group have mistresses. You can easily determine how many of the women believed you, by the amount facial injuries their man has sustained at the next gathering, assuming these guys are still alive. I hope this helps.