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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Monticello, Iowa – While at the Cone Shoppe, former Vice President Joe Biden gets candid about his youth when he said he began touching girls inappropriately. “I used to use ice cream cones like this one, to lure them near me so I can grab them and hold them tightly,” he explained. “And I used different flavors to get different types girls. I used vanilla to attract the white girls, chocolate to get the black ones, and anything sprinkled with nuts attracted the liberals and democrats.”

Joe Biden

• May 8, 2019


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