BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Democratic Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren has added “gay and lesbian couples” to the growing list of groups for whom she would support reparations. Citing a tax code that was “discriminatory” against non-heterosexual married couples, Warren tweeted, “It wasn’t until marriage equality became law that gay & lesbian couples could jointly file tax returns—so they paid more in taxes. Our government owes them more than $50M for the years our discriminatory tax code left them out. We must right these wrongs.” According to her campaign manager, Warren also plans to include in her support for reparations, for dwarfs who were denied tryouts in the NBA, high school dropouts that were never offered scholarships from the Ivy League, and for mutts that are still not allowed to compete in the American Kennel Club Championships.

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