Blake’s Advice Column
My husband and I have a 22-year-old daughter who is having a relationship with a 65-year-old man. We do not approve of the relationship. He is going through a divorce, and our daughter has moved into his rented condo with him. She just graduated from college. She doesn’t have a job, has no money and drives an old car. She knows we love her but do not approve of the relationship. She also knows that he is not welcome in our home. He works full-time and also has a job on weekends. We never speak of him when we talk to our daughter. What is going on? What should we do? When will it end? Where is her head?
From Portland, Oregon
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May-December relationships often end in disaster so I understand your concern. But if you look at the positive side, there are some perks you should openly embrace from your daughter getting involved with that geezer. Here are a few. If she just graduated from college, she probably has a sizable student loan debt. So instead of her leeching off of mom and dad to pay it down, let her rickety lover foot the bill. If you want your daughter to have a man that’s faithful to her, it’s not likely that a 65 year old man will be “running” around, because it will be a matter of time before he is barely just walking. A 23 year old’s car insurance is through the roof, but his policy should be low, because people his age rarely drive faster than 20 mph. And finally, if he has a full time job and works weekends, then he is a good provider for your daughter. And if he continues this for the next ten years when dementia begins to set in, eventually he’ll get lost coming home and she may never see him again. Even if he does figure out where he lives, she might be able to convince him that she is his long lost granddaughter, and he should sign his paychecks over to her as well as his home and vehicles. She might feel guilty about doing that, but she’ll likely get over it after he wears down and croaks. I hope this helps.