Dear Blake,

I want to know if I should ask my neighbor out. I’m a female, and I don’t want to come across as aggressive. While growing up, I was taught that a woman should never ask a guy out. Could I ask him out to hang out — not necessarily for a date? I’m a single parent of a 14-year-old. This neighbor is cute and single and has two kids. I don’t know him well. What’s your advice?

Signed, Sabrina
From St. Paul, Minnesota

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Dear Sabrina,

A lot of women also believe that is improper for a woman to ask a man out. Most of them end up being rickety old spinsters, who’s relationship is often limited to a house full of stray cats. My advice is ask him out, but first, try to learn more about him. You said he has two kids. Are they nervous around him? If they are, he is probably abusive, so it might be a good idea to contact you local Child Protection Agency. Did he adopt them from a foreign country and works them relentlessly? If he has children that are around 9 or 10 years old, and you see them working on the engine of his car or may be replacing some shingles on his roof, contact the Labor Department. If they are his biological kids, why does he have them instead of the mother? Make sure he’s not one of those lazy men who receives child support and alimony, because he is too stupid and worthless to seek employment and try to make it on his own. And the question that gives me my biggest concern is, has the mother been met with foul play at the hands of your neighbor that you believe is cute? Late at night, check his backyard for a possible shallow grave. Just make sure while you’re snooping around, you’re not met with a similar fate, when he slams a sledge slammed in the back of your head while his children begin digging “another” hole. I hope this helps.

Blake

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