Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

A long time ago when I was about to get married, I ran into a childhood friend of mine. I remembered while growing up, everyone commented on how unattractive he was, in fact his nickname was “Monster”. We both reminisced as we laughed about how mean kids could be. I then invited him to my wedding. He was surprised and flattered at the invitation, and said he was looking forward to being there. When I told him I wanted him to take an active role in the ceremony, he became even more excited. “What do you want me to do?” he asked. I answered, “I want you to be the beast man.” Fortunately for me I could still out run him, because he chased me for almost five blocks.

Life through Blake's eyes

• November 10, 2019


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