Dear Blake,

I’m a busy woman. My friend “Adele” was calling me excessively on my cellphone. She would call up to three times every day, even when I was at work. When I would take her call, she’d start questioning me, asking me what I was so busy with. At times she would lecture me about things she thought I should be doing. Her perfectionism and nonstop phone calls were smothering me. I finally asked her, as graciously as I could, to please stop the excessive calling, yet she continues. This is stressing me out Please help!

Signed, Andora
From Tacoma, Washington

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Dear Andora,

Some people are genuinely unaware that they are a pest. So, the only thing you can do is  make that empty headed twit lose the desire to call you. Here are some of my ideas. Every time she calls, put her on hold for at least an hour. If she ever hangs up, relentlessly criticize her for her lack of patience. Or, if she has all this free time because she doesn’t have a job, explain to her why she’s so unemployable. If when she says she feels insulted, explain that you said it for her own good… and your sanity. If she has is working, start calling her every half hour. And if she doesn’t take your calls, show up at her job, and start talking to her nonstop, and refuse to leave until you’re ordered out by security or cops at gunpoint. And finally, consider trying this idea. Promise her you’ll call her back, and then call back, at about 3 a.m. When she answers, tell you’ll call back in about 10 minutes because you need more time to form your thoughts. If she doesn’t answer, immediately head to her house leaving her a hand written note, informing her that you are hurt and offended that she is ignoring you call. And then attach it to a brick and hurl it through her bedroom window. That should wake her up, unless she gets hit in the head. I hope this helps.

Blake

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