BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – By a vote of 96-0, the Senate passed a massive $2 trillion coronavirus stimulus compromise package, ending days of deadlock and sending the bill to the House of Representatives — which House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said will soon take up the historic measure to bring relief to individuals, small businesses, and larger corporations “with strong bipartisan support.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi introduced her own emergency coronavirus stimulus bill in which most of it was shot down, leading furious Republicans to argue that much of the proposal contained a progressive wishlist seemingly unrelated to the crisis. Pelosi’s bill included the resurrection of the notorious “Obamaphone” program, relocating all of the homeless people in California to conservative cities and states, and for all for members of “The Squad” to be shipped off to a remote tribe of cannibals that love American food.

Leave a Reply