Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Boston, Massachusetts – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was named the recipient of this year’s Profile in Courage Award by the John F. Kennedy Library Foundation. The award, which has been called the Nobel Prize for public figures, is given for an act, or a lifetime, of political courage.

A spokesman for the foundation explained their reasoning. “What Nancy Pelosi did was incredible,” he began. “It took a lot of courage for her to spearhead all of her pointless investigations into President Trump, and not having a public emotional breakdown after repeatedly suffering humiliating losses. A lesser person would’ve became psychologically disoriented and possibly addicted to numerous substances, after constantly being made a fool of on national tv. But Pelosi weathered the storms and maintained most of her sanity. She should also be admired for not literally strangling all four members of ‘The Squad’ on camera, and instead deciding to leave it at an ongoing daily fantasy.”

Donald TrumpNancy Pelosi

• April 8, 2020


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or