Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New Brunswick, New Jersey – Brittney Cooper a Rutgers University professor believes President Trump’s policies and racism is causing black women’s weight problems. “Research shows black women lose weight more slowly than white women, and the Trump presidency may be exacerbating the situation,” Cooper said on an episode of “Black Women OWN the Conversation.”

Cooper went on to say, “Black women like myself are devouring more comfort food than ever, because Trump’s very existence is causing us to eat more and exercise less. I don’t know how he’s doing it, but the results cannot be denied. He also is causing more African-American gang violence. Because now when rival gang members who reside in the inner city run across each other on the same street, and they have disagreements on the GDP, or China stealing U.S. intellectual property, or NASA’s plan to eventually send people to Mars, it often erupts in gunfire.

Donald TrumpNASA

• May 1, 2020


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