BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Democrats’ $3 trillion proposal for yet another coronavirus relief bill includes measures that would allow state-legal marijuana businesses to access financial services — a provision that has been ridiculed by some on the right but hailed by those in the marijuana industry as welcome relief for their “essential” businesses.

Essentially, the cannabis-related provisions would allow banks and other financial institutions to work with state-legal marijuana businesses and businesses that provide services to the marijuana industry, and Joe Biden openly embraces the idea. “This new bill has my total support,” stated Biden. “Kids are not in school and it’s driving many parents crazy. But if these grammar school students smoked a couple of joints each day, they’d mellow out. Obviously the parents should determine the potency, but I feel this is the best way to suppress the stamina of these energetic rascals. And because of the weight gain due to the accompanying munchies, mom and dad should also enforce a rigorous exercise program. My stance on this shows that I am extremely pro-family.”

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