Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

I have discovered this week that I should not be a pet owner, because I don’t have the patience when it comes to house breaking. Anyway, I bought a goldfish, and I put some tiny squares of paper on the water, but the goldfish never relieved itself on them. Instead it just watched the paper float by. The really weird thing was, the goldfish gave me the exact strange look the pet shop owner gave me, when I explained to him why I was returning it. What are the odds?

Life through Blake's eyes

• May 30, 2020


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