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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

I have been divorced for 18 years. The main reason for my divorce was that I married too young and wasn’t ready to be a wife and mother. My daughter has just announced her engagement to a truly wonderful man, but she’s only 19. I want to support her, but I’m afraid she’s making the same mistake I did. I have tried talking to her about it, but she is sure she is making the right decision. But I do want to be by her side and support her during one of the most important times of her life. What should I do?

Signed, Viola
From Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

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Dear Viola,

I think it’s a sign of good mothering over concerns that your daughter is going to make the same awful mistake you made, however your attack plan is wrong. You should do whatever it takes to get her fiancé to cancel the upcoming wedding, using outright lies as your weapons of choice. Here are some options you should consider. Tell her spouse-to-be that after they get married, if he watches more than five minutes of sports per month, she plans on secretly getting a sex change so she can learn to appreciate football on his level. Or, you can inform her man that she is settling for him, due to the fact that the last three men she fell for and wanted to marry, aren’t up for parole for at least ten years. And if you really want to get him nervous, try this. Tell him about two weeks before they are scheduled to walk down the aisle, that she recently got pregnant by an ex-boyfriend, and she plans on telling her fiancé when she goes into labor, with the hopes that he’ll be understanding and compassionate because she’ll be in so much pain. But if she appears bent on marrying him no matter what, offer your full support and state that you’re glad to see the two of them tie the knot. And add that hopefully this will encourage your new son-in-law to stop sexting you, because you are no longer interested after the brief fling you had with him, mainly because you felt he wasn’t all that romantic. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• June 6, 2020


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