Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Las Vegas, Nevada – The casinos have begun to reopen, and many of them are now taking bets on which city in America will have the most businesses looted and burned to the ground. The criteria used in determining which city will be the ultimate “winner” is up to the individual to decide. However the casinos are recommending for people who are making the wagers to consider how rowdy a mob gets in certain regions of the country, the amount of bricks that are available and/or driven in by mysterious trucks, the experience of the people in a group of “protesters” at making Molotov cocktails, and how gullible citizens are in a specific community to outside agitators that were shipped in, to encourage them to burn down their own town.

• June 1, 2020


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