Blake’s Advice Column
My granddaughter-to-be is an absolute doll. She’s perfect for my grandson, and I think they were meant for each other. My concern is her family. They treat her like Cinderella.
She cleans, cooks, does laundry and takes care of her disabled sister. She is 21, but because she’s living with her parents until she and my grandson are married, she has to ask permission to go anywhere or do anything. She also believes everything they tell her, which is mostly B.S.
My fear is that her family will interfere with their marriage and expect her to still take care of her lazy relatives. She has told them things will change once she’s married, but because she is easily manipulated, they will expect her to continue taking care of their household. How can I convince her to set boundaries without sounding like I’m trying to manipulate her myself?
From Buffalo, New York
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It appears to me that her family is abusing your future granddaughter. The only thing I can recommend, is to turn her against her family to the point where mentioning their names will make her flesh crawl. Here are some ideas. Have you grandson keep her so busy around the house, that she’ll be too tired to go her family’s home. Have him push to the point where she nearly collapses on a daily basis. Or you can try to convince her that by catering to her worthless family, she is indirectly condoning modern day slavery and launching a personal attack against Abraham Lincoln. You might even want to approach it from a financial perspective and speak to your grandson and his fiancé, informing them of the hourly rates of housekeepers. And if her family doesn’t agree to pay on that scale, then have your grandson threaten to take his new bride and move to the other side of the country. But sometimes you simply have to roll with the punches. If her family wants to treat her like Cinderella, then you should accept it. But also consider that if you feel any of them are crossing a line, you have the option of hitting them in the back of the head with a glass slipper. I hope this helps.