I have been lucky enough to have fallen madly in love with the most wonderful man in the world. We have been together for two years and living together for almost a year. I’m in my mid-30s; he’s in his mid-40s. We both have had plenty of experience in love — enough to feel sure that we’ve found the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with.
My best friend has been very disparaging of our relationship and makes rude comments about it. If I tell her how happy we are in spite of the pandemic, she says it’s because we’re still in the “honeymoon phase.” If I describe something kind that my boyfriend has done for me, she adopts a condescending tone and makes remarks about “new love” and that I should enjoy this now because it will change.
She’s the same age I am and has been with her fiancé for nine years. I have always been very supportive of their relationship, but she seems incapable of offering me the same level of support in my love life. What should I do?
From Menlo Park, New Jersey
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The negativity from your friend is unacceptable and overwhelming. So I would recommend you turn the tables on her and give her an overdose of her own medicine. Ok, consider these options. The next time they go on a vacation, tell her he is scouting out places that he’s secretly planning on moving to… without her. If she says he’s very passionate, you should respond by saying during those “heated” moments, he’s probably fantasizing about someone else. Or, tell her she is very smart by getting involved with a man that no other woman on the planet wants, because if he had an opportunity to be with someone else, he would’ve already dropkicked her out of his life. And finally, if she is a dog lover, tell her for her birthday you want to buy her a dog in any breed she wants, but encourage her to select one that reflects her personality. And if she asks what type of dog do you feel best reflects her personality, tell her the breed doesn’t matter, as long as it’s a female. I hope this helps.