Dear Blake,

My boyfriend and I just moved in together about three months ago with each of our dogs. We have brought our dogs together for playdates before, and they were always playful. Since we have moved in, and they are together all the time, they are fighting and terrorizing our household. We have tried to keep them separate, but it’s becoming an inconvenient task to make sure they never see or hear each other, which is quite impossible. They bark and go after each other every chance they get. My boyfriend seems to think we have to get rid of one of the dogs, but how do we begin to even make that decision? I know I do not want to give away my dog and I couldn’t expect him to either. Where do we go from here?

Signed, Debra
From Lexington, Kentucky

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Dear Debra,

Since both of you care about your pets, this is a serious situation. Keeping them in a cage almost 24/7 is an option, as long as you don’t mind them walking wobbly when they get out, due to the lack of muscle use. Here are some other suggestions you should consider. Drive them to an animal shelter as if you plan on dropping them off. When those two mongrels realize what can happen to them if no one picks them up, they’ll get along great, even become closer than Siamese twins. Or, you can file their teeth and nails down, so when they get into a fight, they can’t injure each other, and they’ll end the attacks when they realize their daily brawls accomplishes nothing, besides giving each other an aggressive massage. Or try this one. Make them wear some shock collars, so anytime they are within 5 feet of each other, they receive a jolt. If they fight anyway, increase the voltage until one of them is literally electrocuted, and don’t show the survivor any form of compassion as it grieves the loss of a “friend”. And lastly, maybe the dogs are clairvoyant and their fighting is a warning of what’s going to happen if you two don’t end the relationship. Keep in mind, when you see the dogs snap and growl at each other as if they are ready to rip each other to pieces, that’s mild compared to the way couples treat each other during most divorce proceedings. I hope this helps.

Blake

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