BREAKING NEWS – Wilmington, Delaware – Joe Biden is making his first trip to Florida, with an urgent mission to build support among Latinos who could decide the election in one of the nation’s fiercest battleground states.

“I will talk about how I am going to work like the devil to make sure I turn every Latino and Hispanic vote,” announced Biden. “I know how the devil works, and I want to mirror his efforts. I know what I’m talking about, because I have spoken to a few Hispanics that belong to the Church of Satan, and they told me that somebody named Lucifer approves all of my messages. I’m not sure who this Lucifer character is, but he appears to me to be a hell of a guy.”

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