Dear Blake,

My husband just recently gave my mother the boot from our home after she refused to call our newborn son by his name. From the time I found out I was pregnant she insisted that we name my son Solomon which means man of peace. My husband and I agreed to named him Avery. Mom thinks that name isn’t strong enough and has elected to refer to our son as Solomon although she is making this situation anything but peaceful… Now I am torn between my husband and my mother all over a name! Please help!

Signed, Dorothy
From Baltimore, Maryland

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In my opinion, this is a clear case of your mother refusing to mind her own business. Because she persists in calling him a biblical name that you didn’t assign your son, I think you should start calling her a biblical name. Here are some options. Call her Delilah, and tell her you are giving her that name, because she comes off as the kind of person that will try to exploit a man’s weakness, because you believe that’s the only way your father agreed to marry her. Or you can call her Jezebel, who had the reputation of murdering men that disagreed with her, and you plan on getting a restraining order against her in order to protect your husband from an untimely “mysterious” death. Maybe you can call her the Witch of Endor like the one Saul went to. Tell her that you believe she can conjure up demons from hell, and you also wanted to know why does her perfume always smell like sulfur. And lastly, you can call her “Lot’s Wife”. And tell her you chose that name because you don’t want her over your house in any season, or considering what Lot’s wife turned into, make that “seasoning”. I hope this helps.

Blake

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