ROCK SOLID MARITAL ADVICE

After giving it a lot of thought, in my opinion, these are the best three tips for a happy marriage.

Number 3 is, compatibility. Try to make sure that before walking down the aisle, that both of you have very important common denominators. Even though there is no way you can cover everything, it is an important foundation to resolve any friction before it arises.

Number 2 is, goals. What’s the end game for both of you? Holding hands while walking in the same direction can keep both of you focused on mutual objectives and magnifying teamwork.

And number 1 is, keep all relatives and in-laws at least 1000 miles away from you, or four states, whichever is the greatest distance. These people should always be viewed as the enemy. Within the next 25 years, the U.S. plans on starting colonies on Mars which is 35 million away. It would be a good idea to begin saving now to send in-laws and relatives to that planet, and you should even consider selling a kidney, or getting involved in lucrative criminal activities to finance the trip. Once they arrive there safely, immediately change your phone number, your email, and block them on Facebook. After you’ve completed that, write your congressman, urging them to reduce the funding for NASA, to ensure there won’t ever be enough money to send fuel to Mars to bring them back.

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