BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Hunter Biden admitted that when he was addicted to cocaine, he smoked parmesan cheese because it resembled the drug.

The president’s son recalled in an interview with CBS News how he would search through carpeting trying to find traces of the drug, and would sometimes come up with cheese instead.

“I’m finally free of my addiction. However, I now know I know that using cheese for a drug is not deadly, because I saw plenty of fat rats eating it last week during one of my daily visits to a crack house.”

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