Dear Blake,

My husband of 30 years, whom I love dearly, has started singing all the time. I mean ALL THE TIME. If he’s not on the phone or involved in a TV show or conversation (and sometimes when he is), he’s singing the same few songs over and over, and not well. I don’t feel I have a right to ask him to stop. What should I do?

Signed, Yvonne
From Anchorage, Alaska

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Dear Yvonne,

I’m with you, because I don’t like being around people that constantly burst into a song. The only thing I can suggest to you, is to declare a methodic melodic war. Here are some options. Record him singing, post it on Youtube, and then send the link out to everyone he knows, alleging the video is what the police plays to arrested suspects to torture them into confessing to… anything and everything. Or, you should start singing too, but only do it when he’s trying to sleep or shortly thereafter, and if he doesn’t like it, tell him you’ll stop when he stops. Or maybe this one, wear earplugs throughout the day, which will force him to become irritated when he has to constantly repeat himself when he’s trying to talk to you. Lastly, play an instrument when he sings, specifically a large metal spoon on the bottom of a pot. And if on occasion you miss the pot and “accidentally” hit him in the head, well that’s show biz. I hope this helps.

Blake

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