BREAKING NEWS – Little Rock, Arkansas – The University of Arkansas’ chancellor has reportedly met with state lawmakers this week to hear their concerns about the potential relocation of a campus statue of late Sen. James William Fulbright – the one-time mentor to Bill Clinton whom the former president delivered a eulogy for at his funeral.

Critics of Fulbright point to the senator’s civil rights record, in particular his decision to sign the Southern Manifesto – a declaration opposing the landmark Supreme Court ruling in Brown v. Board of Education – and resistance to the “Civil Rights Bills of 1957 and 1964, and vote against the Voting Rights Bill of 1965.”

“I have no idea why people refer to William Fulbright as my mentor, when he was not,” said former President Bill Clinton. “You can do your own research, but to my knowledge, he never slept around on his wife or frequented orgies. Based on that alone, he’s not the kind of man I would even associate with, unless he had some really attractive gullible daughters.”

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