Dear Blake,

Over the weekend, while I was cleaning and reorganizing our bedroom, I found the engagement ring my boyfriend plans on proposing to me with. I didn’t know he was planning to ask the big question, and I’m thrilled that he is going to. I haven’t even hinted that I know anything is going on because I don’t want to ruin the surprise more than I already have. My problem is, I hate the ring he chose. It’s beautiful, but, it’s so big. I like dainty jewelry, and it is the complete opposite of anything I would ever choose for myself. What do I do? I love this man with my whole heart. He’s my best friend, and we have been there for each other through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. We have great communication and always keep things completely honest between us. I suppose I should suck it up. He chose this ring for me, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Please tell me what to do.

Signed, Nicole
From, St. Paul, Minnesota

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Dear Nicole,

I am happy for your upcoming engagement. But, you still have to do something because your idiot fiancé that you bought something that may be more appropriate for King Kong’s mistress. Anyway, here are some ideas. Tell him the ring is so heavy, that if you fell overboard from a cruise ship, you’d sink to the bottom due to the engagement anchor you’ll be wearing. Or, tell him that the ring is so big, it appears that you are simultaneously engaged to several men in a new religion called reverse-Mormonism. Or you can get historic with him and tell him the ring he squandered his money on, looks like the type of jewelry that 1920’s madams wore that provided services for bootlegging gangsters. And finally, a trade-in is probably your best bet. If something is really undesirable, you shouldn’t be stuck with it for years. I’m not talking about trading in the engagement ring, I’m talking about your loser boyfriend. I hope this helps.

Blake

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