BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Amid the rise in the number of House Democrats not running for reelection in next year’s midterms as their party tries to hold on to its fragile majority in the chamber, House GOP leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy is predicting there will be plenty more to come.

The GOP needs a net gain of just five seats in the 435-member chamber next year to regain the House majority it lost to the Democrats in the 2018 midterms. Republicans have history on their side – on average the party that wins the White House in a presidential election loses more than 25 House seats in the ensuing midterm election. And the once-in-a-decade congressional redistricting process – which is underway – is expected to favor the GOP, as Republicans control more state legislatures and governors’ offices.

“As usual, Kevin McCarthy can’t see the big picture, or who’s running the show over here,” explained Nancy Pelosi. “I am not worried about democratic congressional reps retiring. I have enough dirt on all of them, that I can keep them in office until they drop dead if I wanted to. Between the drugs use, extortion, bribery, and hookers, I can easily blackmail 90% of the democrats in the House. I have them at the point that they won’t do anything without literally kneeling in front of me, seeking my blessing. Obviously, this does not include the imbeciles in the Squad.”

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