Dear Blake,

Every day when I bring my lunch to work, one of my co-workers asks, “Hey, what are you eating?” I tell her and offer her some, and she accepts each and every time. This has been going on for weeks. While I’m not against sharing, I would like to enjoy my entire lunch. I think I’m being taken advantage of because I’m polite.

The last time she asked, I told her what I was eating, but did not offer her any. Was that wrong? Should I be responsible for feeding her every day? Bear in mind that when she does it, she has already eaten her own lunch.

Signed, Cassie
From, Birmingham, Alabama

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Dear Cassie,

It’s entirely possible that your coworker has an eating disorder. But it’s more likely that she’s a freeloader that’s nothing more than an employed bum. Anyway, here are some of my ideas.  Prepare some food that tastes so awful, that she’d rather starve to death than consume any portion of your future lunches. Ask her to get a DNA test to see if she is part grizzly bear since it appears that she’s trying to bulk up before hibernating. Or, ask for half of her food after informing her that you didn’t have breakfast, alleging that what you brought for yourself is simply not enough. Do this daily until she suggests that meal sharing is strictly off limits. And if none of those work, try this last idea. Tell her that you hate your husband or boyfriend with a passion, and you plan on using some fast-acting poison to kill him. Then tell her, you need to test it to see how fast it works… and then hand her a sandwich. She’ll either break out in a cold sweat, or start sweating bullets. I think both of those are about the same. hope this helps.

Blake

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