BREAKING NEWS – Lynn, Massachusetts – Eighty year old Claire Butcher has been threatened with being tossed into jail for 30 days for feeding the ducks at Flax Pond. The town council has stated that because Butcher constantly feeds the water fowl, they have absolutely no desire to fly south for the winter. Wildlife officials have renamed the lazy birds that won’t fend for themselves and want food given to them, calling them ”occupier ducks”.