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BREAKING NEWS – Salt Lake City, Utah – Mitt Romney finally makes a public appearance after his devastating loss in November. He is seen giving a passionate speech, encouraging residents of Utah to vote to have their state secede from the Union, so he can run for president of the “newly established” country. He nearly broke into tears later in the evening after he was informed that African-American Mayor Mia Love of Saratoga Springs, Utah would easily beat him.

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