BREAKING NEWS – Estes Park, Colorado – The American Association of Psychics has just expelled and unnamed psychic, after he predicted that the entire planet will soon be at war, and it will render all laptops and desktops useless. The AAP is now alleging that he had an ulterior motive for making that prediction, because after he was encouraging people to go out and buy every old typewriter they could find, he secretly invested his life saving in Smith-Corona, and Remington.